Sorry. But somethings should never get past the drawing board.
THANK THE LIGHT! The so-called cell phone sequel of FFIV released the last piece of the pay-per-part story.
This disgrace to the universe of Final Fantasy IV has completed its final installment. Now the fans of the original (true) game can shoot it with the Super Canon (canon… get it?) and put it out of it’s writhing, cliched and plot-mess misery.
Want some spoilers?
Golbez fans! Theobez dies! Sorry.
Kain fans! Kain dumps the Dragoons for the Red Wings. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Dragoon… isn’t. Anymore. Send hate mail to: ttokita@ffivdeafter.com
I wouldn’t want to face down all those angry Kain fans, personally.
And the final boss of the game? “The Creator.” Well.. it’s.. uh… Necron. Or Lavos. Or… Zeromus… or… well. We don’t know what the heck happened there. But it’s stupid. The even the theory behind it is stupid (from what I gather) — advanced life form (non-Lunar) puts Crystals around to study life… and now decides to destroy said life for no particular reason? Right. Anger management class… plzthxbai.
Personally, this is my theory:
The Creator Boss = T.Tokita
T.Tokita: “I make all Crystal. I scatter Crystal around there for recording other civilizations. The record is already enough. I collect all Crystal and destroy any coherent plot or canon within FFIV universe.”
That is certainly the most evil of all.
May this attempt to milk FFIV now die and rest in pieces. Many of them. So many of them that this spew never finds its way to English translation.
Oh… and Happy Holidays! I’ll have happier things to talk about later. Promise.
Information curtsy of our Japanese friend Roundog… who has been keeping us informed all the way down this so painful journey of FFIV fandom.
The blog, Back of the Cereal Box, featured an awesome compilation article about the secret origins of video game character names. Imagine Syn’s surprise when she saw that her research on the origins of the name Golbez was sited there (our forums at Sygnus.org got footnoted — too cool!) You’ll have to scroll down some to see it, but it’s a good article, worth the read.
