Sorry. But somethings should never get past the drawing board.
THANK THE LIGHT! The so-called cell phone sequel of FFIV released the last piece of the pay-per-part story.
This disgrace to the universe of Final Fantasy IV has completed its final installment. Now the fans of the original (true) game can shoot it with the Super Canon (canon… get it?) and put it out of it’s writhing, cliched and plot-mess misery.
Want some spoilers?
Golbez fans! Theobez dies! Sorry.
Kain fans! Kain dumps the Dragoons for the Red Wings. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Dragoon… isn’t. Anymore. Send hate mail to: ttokita@ffivdeafter.com
I wouldn’t want to face down all those angry Kain fans, personally.
And the final boss of the game? “The Creator.” Well.. it’s.. uh… Necron. Or Lavos. Or… Zeromus… or… well. We don’t know what the heck happened there. But it’s stupid. The even the theory behind it is stupid (from what I gather) — advanced life form (non-Lunar) puts Crystals around to study life… and now decides to destroy said life for no particular reason? Right. Anger management class… plzthxbai.
Personally, this is my theory:
The Creator Boss = T.Tokita
T.Tokita: “I make all Crystal. I scatter Crystal around there for recording other civilizations. The record is already enough. I collect all Crystal and destroy any coherent plot or canon within FFIV universe.”
That is certainly the most evil of all.
May this attempt to milk FFIV now die and rest in pieces. Many of them. So many of them that this spew never finds its way to English translation.
Oh… and Happy Holidays! I’ll have happier things to talk about later. Promise.
Information curtsy of our Japanese friend Roundog… who has been keeping us informed all the way down this so painful journey of FFIV fandom.
(Kain fans shouldn’t click, huh? Why am I so masochistic?)
THEY WHAT!?
No, just no. It was bad already that they made him take 17 years to stop pining over Rosa and to stop moping about what he did under Golbez’ control, they also made him become a Holy Dragoon (thus stealing poor Cecil’s thunder by not only ripping his class but gaining more magic than him), and now this!?
Someone give me a plane ticket to Japan, please, I need to introduce Tokita’s skull to a brick wall.
You know, why go all the trouble of making him a Holy Dragoon if he ditches them in the end?
And while we’re at it, why not give him powers like Freya’s from FFIX instead of white magic? That would have made more sense since her magic was Dragon magic.
Luckily, this is not going to ruin my Holidays. If anything, it just motivates me more to actually work on my stories because, despite not being the best writer out there, I still have more creativity in my little finger than Tokita does.
My fanon sequel pwns Tokita’s canon sequel. Fred and his dreadlocks pwn Ceodore. Kalle would hunt down canon-Kain with a torch and a pitchfork then introduce him to an exorcist, and RVKain would help him. And Mulletbez would die laughing at Theobez and his pseudo-Scotsman outfit.
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What they did to Kain was stupid from start to finish. Why the heck would he leave the Dragoons for a demotion to be the Captain of the Red Wings? Makes no sense!
Syn and I both agree that someone could have gone to fanfic.net, randomly (even blindly) chosen a FFIV fanfiction from the site, made THAT into The After… and it would have been better than this. 100 TIMES BETTER!
I agree. I’m done with feeling anything but contempt for this lame attempt to add to the canon of FFIV. There were a lot of other screwy things they did with the ending that I didn’t mention here — we don’t know if FuSoYa is alive or not… the Lunars migrate to yet ANOTHER Moon… you fight extra bosses from OTHER FF games for whatever reason… and Cid gets a grandson named Mid (as in connecting to FF5 Mid, I’m guessing).
The whole Edge and Rydia thing still hasn’t been resolved, no matter your stance on that. It’s been how many years now and Edge still runs off trying to get Rydia’s attention? And Rydia goes back to Mist with one of the girls from this other “Creator” race… and apparently nothing else ever gets resolved for her EITHER.
BTW… I love your rants. I know you’re angry but I can’t help but like hearing someone else that’s just as acidic about this as I am! *highfive*
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what is this I don’t even
…Theobez, get some pants. Kain, get some balls. Edge, get a freaking girlfriend.
…Hand me that Super Canon, Aywren, I wanna make sure the job’s done. e_e
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Have at it, by all means. *hands Lunarkweh the Super Canon* Just save a few shots for me.
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Oh, trust me, I can be even more acidic. But I won’t since I tend to have a potty mouth.
And yeah, Mid!? Do not want. Mid can stay in FFV. (But I have no objection if it’s Ffamran Mid Bunanza, AKA Balthier. He’s kinda cute. DO WANT! Except not in my FFIV.)
The whole Rydia thing screams shoujo-ai to me. >_<
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Eh… that’s not the way I meant it to come off. About Rydia. Sorry. I meant, they found one of the girls from this Creator race, I guess, and she chose to warn the party and help them near the end. The girl’s name is “Quail” from what I gathered.
In the end, Rydia takes Quail back to Mist to live, I guess teaching her how to be like the humans. That’s really all I could gather from Roundog’s description. Roundog seemed pretty confused too!
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Aroo?
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DO NOT WANT!
I am normally very modest about my stuff, but I must say that my sequel is infinitely better that The After…and I maintain that mine sucks compared to yours and what I know of Gaby’s.
Gimme that Super Canon…it’s been a long time, so I think it’s time for some Target Practice.
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*hands off the Super Canon*
Get it where it hurts. >3
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I suddenly had the most epic idea for a MSPaint comic ever.
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Dooooooooooo it!
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Someone, please…make Theobez put on some Bahamut-Damned pants….My eyes are bleeding…
And while you’re at it, slap Rydia for dressing up in even MOAR revealing clothes, tear out Porom’s PINK hair, kick Kain up the arse until he’s a draggon again, shove Ceodore in the ‘rejected protagonist’ bin, slap Theobez for taking that mortal blow and not wearing enough clothes, put 100-200 bullets in Tokita’s brainless head and Super-Canon Tsuki no Kikan out of any plane of existance.
I now take my leave.
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